Employee to Entrepreneur Part II: The Middle

After writing and publishing my last blog post, I was asked to stay on and train my replacement at my job, so my last official day was March 1st. My last paycheck has been deposited, I have deleted my work files off of my laptop, and I removed my company email address from my mail apps. I am officially an entrepreneur. Since my last installment of Employee to Entrepreneur, everything and nothing has changed. To start, my original entrepreneurial venture has changed, not that you guys would know that. I haven’t announced what I am working on, but let me tell you… it’s bigger than me and I find that to be terrifying. I wanted to share my thoughts on this part of my metamorphosis to an entrepreneur, as it’s an important one. The last few times I found myself here, I quit. 

FEARS:

To be quite honest, the harder I work and the closer I get to the “finish line” (launching my new site), the closer I get to throwing in the towel. If I wrote down everything I ever started and crossed out what I quit, 99% of that list would be slashed. It’s a tough realization, but an important one for me to face. The idea of possible failure has been looming over my head, like a suspicious cloud on a sunny day. It’s not easy to think about putting myself out there in such a vulnerable way, knowing my idea might not take off, my website might go unnoticed, and that my venture could be a waste. But all of these maybes and possibles and mights will continue to be acknowledged, and then forced out of my brain. 

"One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat.” -Napoleon Hill

I have not been defeated, nor will I, if I don’t give up.  

TRUTHS:

I have been unemployed for a month now, and I feel like a different person. My constant state of mommy-guilt has been lightened. It’s not completely gone, but I don’t think that feeling ever truly goes away. I will say that trying to include an 8 hour work day on top of making breakfast, getting 3 people dressed (two of which act like they are unfamiliar with clothing), a trip to the gym, making lunch, taking a kid to school, keeping one kid alive and fed and occupied, keeping the house presentable, and trying to launch a business was just too much. Being able to decide how much work I get done in a single day in relation to what is going on in my house is one of life’s simple pleasures. I feel much less pressure to work and work and work. I still work from home with kids, but it’s on my time. And it’s work that I absolutely love. 

JOYS:

My joy this month is making the easy decision to join a co-working space that is filled with other creatives. I know that one of the perks of being an online business owner is the lack of a monthly lease, but working in a noisy home office with 15-30 intervals of peace was not allowing me to get my best work done. And having the option to bounce ideas and thoughts off of other people who think like me (or better yet, think differently than me)? Yes please. Not to mention having fresh eyes on my website, an outside perspective on an idea, and people who just love to be creative. 

This journey was never going to be an easy one. But the good news is that I am walking it to help others who will someday find themselves on this same path. Hint hint 😉